Most of us are dating for a reason: we hope to eventually find that special person we want to share a lifetime of adventures with. But what exactly are we supposed to be keeping an eye out for? Here are different women’s views on how they knew their guy was the person they wanted to spend their lives with.
1. “BECAUSE I COULDN’T IMAGINE LIFE WITHOUT HIM.
And, more to the point, I didn’t want to.” – Heather*, newly married
2. “HE SHOWED ME I WAS ALWAYS ONE OF HIS NUMBER ONE PRIORITIES.
Early in our relationship, I was ill and he came to see me in the hospital and looked after me. By contrast, my ex ignored me and used to go on nights out instead.” – Katy*, engaged
3. “BECAUSE HE WAS THE MOST INTERESTING PERSON I’D EVER MET.
Everything about him was exciting: he was just about to travel the world, which was unheard of at the time. He made the world seem wider.” – Sophie, married 28 years.
4. BECAUSE MY IMAGINARY FUTURE CHILDREN STARTED TO LOOK LIKE HIM.
All of a sudden, they had curly blonde hair, just like his!” Claire*, recently married
5. “HE HAS TOTAL RESPECT FOR ME.
He completely respects my dreams, my friends and family, my interests, my beliefs, and my feminism!” – Amelie*, engaged
6. “IT FELT LIKE COMING HOME.
It all seemed to make sense. All the other guys you’ve been out with seem so insignificant in comparison.” – Charlotte*, married 25 years
7. “SEEING HIM MAKES ME GIDDY WITH EXCITEMENT.
And after 9 years together, it still hasn’t faded.” – Tia*, married 4 years
8. “THERE WAS A TOTAL SENSE OF EASE.
There’s no need to pretend you’re someone else; you can talk openly and for hours without running out of anything to say. Equally, you can sit in silence and be totally comfortable.” – Rebecca*, married 29 years
9. “IT CLICKED AND I JUST KNEW.
It isn’t so much about the individual qualities, but about them as a whole. They are the missing puzzle piece in your life.” – Liv*, married 31 years
10. “I DON’T REALLY KNOW!
I was 19 when we married. At that age, you don’t really know what to be looking for, and in those days, you didn’t date many people. But he ticked all the boxes for me and always made the effort to dress smartly when he saw me. That was important.” – Joan*, married 52 years.
11. “HE ISN’T AFRAID TO CHALLENGE ME.
If I’m being unreasonable or stubborn, he’s always pushed me to see things from a different angle. I rarely appreciate it at the time, but I quickly realized how important it was to me that my partner helps me grow!” – Chloe*, married 5 years
12. “RIGHT FROM THE START, HE TOOK THE TIME TO LEARN WHAT MATTERS TO ME.
I love the romance of old-school letters. He hates writing absolutely anything and would have preferred to text, but he made the effort to write me long letters when we began dating because he knew what it would mean to me.” – Ella*, engaged
13. “WE’D BEEN OUT A FEW TIMES WHEN HE ANNOUNCED HE WAS MOVING AWAY.
“I expect that’s it, then,” he said to me. I didn’t think twice; I just knew I was going to carry on seeing him whatever the distance.” – Barbara*, married 55 years
14. “WE HAD A LONG-DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP FOR YEARS.
Through it all, even the biggest compromises to spend the shortest amount of time together were always totally worth it. That’s how I knew.” – Sara*, married 10 years
15. “HE IMMEDIATELY MADE ME FEEL SO SAFE AND PROTECTED.
I knew he’d do absolutely anything to look after me.” – Cassey*, married 2 years
16. “QUITE SIMPLY, I LIKE WHO I AM WHEN I’M WITH HIM.
Plus I like who ‘we’ are when we’re together.” – Aimee*, married 4 years
17. “I COULDN’T SEE MYSELF GROWING OLD AND WRINKLY WITH ANYONE ELSE.
”– Danni*, married 15 years
18. “I NOTICED HOW DIFFERENT IT FELT WITH HIM STRAIGHT AWAY.
It was like excitement and nervousness mixed together. I’d get butterflies and lose my words; I’d start to stutter. As we grew, we realized we shared all the same values, principles, and life goals even though our interests and hobbies are totally different. Those foundations are what make someone ‘The One’.” – Jen*, married 20 years.
19. “WE HAVE COMPLETE RESPECT FOR ONE ANOTHER.
And we trust one another without a doubt.” – Sandra*, married 12 years
20. “BECAUSE I FELT COMPLETELY COMFORTABLE AROUND HIM.
I never have to hide in any way. You know when you get to know somebody and stop acting like you’ve only just met them?” – Sabine*, married 3 years
* names have been changed.